North Carolina

Last week Erin and I enjoyed a wonderful visit with my nephew, Michael, his wife, Kirsten, and four children (l to r Ryland, Cole, Harper, Simon), in Durham, North Carolina.

Landmark Marriage Equality Decision!

Hooray! The California State Supreme Court today ruled it unconstitutional to deny Erin and I equal rights to marry each other.

It has been a long road of struggle for all same-sex couples. Erin and I have long sought to celebrate our commitment. First, on September 3, 1997, our 3-year anniversary, we registered as Domestic Partners with the City and County of San Francisco.
The following June Willie Brown invited us to SF City Hall to celebrate in masse with about 1,000 other same-sex Domestic Partner couples.


Next, we celebrated a Civil Union in Vermont, September 23, 2000. This grants us certain limited state rights if we were to reside in Vermont. (It will also be difficult to dissolve. If we ever split up, one of us would have to reside for a year in Vermont. We do not intend to ever split up.)





On Valentine's Day, February 14, 2004, we joined thousands of other same-sex couples and received marriage licenses at San Francisco City Hall. This was later nulled.



I wonder if, with the Supreme Court's decision today, we are now considered married again? I know not federally, but in the state of California?



Death to homophobic bigotry. May it rot in the sewage of hatred. I won't go so far to say death to homophobic bigots, because I know some homophobic bigots. Even though I am very disappointed by their ignorance, I believe with time and patient pursuasion, they may be open to growing to accept me and my wife, Erin. I hope we have enough time to realize full equality in our lifetime.

Violence and Ignorance in Perpetuity

Erin's note to the Neighbors,

I'm very shaky but wanted you all to know right away that a man attempted to mug me May 2, 7:05pm, as I walked home from BART. Chloe had walked up to greet me, and she took my computer bag. I had my purse in hand as we walked down College back toward Kales. Just as we finished crossing Lawton, in broad daylight, a man came up behind me, stomped on my foot, then tried to grab my purse. His pull on the purse whirled me around, but i held tight. I was confused and yelled, Hey! what's going on! Chloe starting yelling as he ran up Lawton. He was a young black man, early 20s. He was bulky, but ran like an athlete. He wore a white tee shirt, with a red bandanna around his neck. He had on a white cap with a black brim. I never saw his face.

Folks on the street and from Pasta Pomodoro came to our aid and gave descriptions. I called 911 from the scene. They came to the house to take a report later that night.

Thankfully, I'm shaky with a sore foot. I'm so glad he didn't get my purse.

Please be careful out there!!

Chloe's thoughts: the other really frightening thing about this experience is:

The cops came to our house to take a statement, and as one was interviewing Erin, the other was telling me we should arm ourselves with Mace, something called CO with colored dye, or hand guns! He said in some states people can shoot to kill the perpetrators of crimes, and then the problem is eliminated! I could not sleep last night thinking about it. My hope is that the young man who hit Erin realized what an awful mistake it was, had regrets, and that's why he didn't kill us both (considering his size that would have been easy enough), but rather went off and thought deep and hard about the human condition, how we all need each other to survive in this congested urban environment, and vowed to go into social services and/or health care. I am horrified at the thought of shooting another person. What a nightmare that would be. I told the officer I feel this way. It is why I don't let guns in my life. Even the cops being around are scary. Violence perpetuates violence. Ignorance perpetuates ignorance.